I Am A Liar….Are You??

I have a confession. I am a liar. A Total Liar. Not to my spouse, or my friends, or even strangers, but I am still a liar. I am one of those liars that can tell a lie with a smile on my face – no eye twitch or lift of an eyebrow to reveal my deception.

A TOTAL LIAR

Let me explain. In the last few weeks, I have noticed my pants getting a little tighter. I have also noticed some odd numbers on the scale that made me quickly funnel oxygen into my lungs with an audible gasp (sealed with an expletive). I wasn’t initially concerned because I tend to fluctuate within a few pounds. But then things didn’t change. Clothes stayed a little tighter, and the pouch out front did not recede.

After several weeks of similar feedback from my fitted clothing, I found myself asking, “What is going on?” “Why this is happening?” “Are my hormones changing?” I couldn’t understand why the situation was as it was. Then it hit me. I am a liar. I had been lying to myself.

A couple of days ago I had a patient come into the office (we will call her Sarah). Sarah reported had been struggling with weight issues. She said that after our appointment she planned to start on a “new-sparkly-weight-management-scheme”. She told me she was joining up because of her failure of doing it on her own. I listened. She went on to say she had been doing everything right for weeks and there had been no change. I listened. She continued to lament that her hormones must be off, or maybe her thyroid because it just didn’t make sense that she hadn’t seen results.

Unfortunately, there was a small problem with this scenario. I was privy to information she didn’t know I had. Her personal trainer and friend had come to an appointment with me earlier that morning. During the appointment, the trainer shared with me her frustrations concerning Sarah’s eating habits.

She explained that Sarah would begin her day with two Cokes because she “needed” the caffeine. The trainer also reported that during a recent group dinner, Sarah had ordered a big plate of pasta and several glasses of wine. Sarah exclaimed that she was glad she could order whatever she wanted because she would be working out like a “mad woman” the next morning. The trainer shared this information with me because she was frustrated. She hoped that I could help her brainstorm on the most effective ways to show Sarah support and help her successfully achieve her goals. She was genuinely concerned about Sarah’s health and well-being.

So, back to me! Here I was flowing out over my favorite jeans when I realized I needed to have a transparent conversation with myself. “Heather, what have you been lying to yourself about?” “What have you been fooling yourself into thinking is truth?”

 I wrote down the lies. Here is the list.

1)    Missing yoga for two months will not have an impact on your fitness level.

2)    Eating late into the evening is okay because you worked really hard.

3)    Not getting a lot of sleep is okay because it is just to get through this busy time.

4)    Not drinking as much water is fine for a few weeks. I will get back on track soon.

5)    My stress level will not impact my weight or fitness level.

6)    Eating “healthy” means you can eat more.

 Lies. All of them are lies. Well-stated, believable, and very pretty lies. So what was the truth?

1)    Missing yoga for two months WILL have a noticeable impact on your fitness level.

2)    Eating late into the evening is NEVER okay.

3)    Adequate sleep is the MOST important factor in maintaining your health and well-being.

4)    Not drinking enough water WILL impact you within two days.

5)    Your stress level will ALWAYS have the ability to disrupt your weight and fitness level.

6)    Eating well DOES NOT mean you can eat more.

Once I stopped lying and started admitting the truth the tight jeans and small floatation device around my waist made sense. I reflected on my patient. Maybe Sarah had been telling a few lies of her own.

Not all of us are liars. I suspect, however, that many of us are slight “fibbers” when it comes to the difficult personal accountability issues. Lies can drift into areas of our lives when the lie is easier than acknowledging the truth.

If you are “stuck” and cannot attain a certain milestone in your life, sit down on the bed and ask yourself the tough questions, “What have I been lying about?” And, better yet “why?”